So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Randomize
