i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
