I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
