redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
