he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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