Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
