Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
