Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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