She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
