i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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