shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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