He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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