SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
my being single is dangerous.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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