how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize