who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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