haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
