i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize