omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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