It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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