its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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