i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
