theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
