She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
