Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
