my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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