Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
