But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
