would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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