Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Every concussion has its silver lining
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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