My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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