I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
