ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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