ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
