Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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