Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
