Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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