why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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