I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
