You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
birth control should be required to get into college
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
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