He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
