Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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