Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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