I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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