Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
