Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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