maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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