S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
