Your tits are I can't wait for
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
