we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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