the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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