I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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