I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize