Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
