he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
