cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Dick very happy bro
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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