How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
