If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
