He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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