I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
