I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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