you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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