Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
