ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
