How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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